Re: My dream hookah:
The bottle rests in a victorian-style tripod stand, wroght out of the iron from Constantine's sword. The bottle is bronze, spun from Alexander the great's helmet. The inner stem is copper taken from the statue of liberty. The chamber is spun from metal from Julius Caesar's breastplate. The shaft is wood, turned from one of the legs of the chair Lincoln was assassinated in. The coal tray is a pewter plate crafted by Paul revere. The bowl is ivory recovered from a wooly mammoth.
The hose handle is carved from a Tyrannosaurus rib, the mouthpeice is bone, formerly belonging to Jimmy Hoffa. The hose itself is leather (Panda hide). The port connecter is made from Issac Newton's fingerbones.
Wild Bill Hickock's pisspot serves as the coal carrier. The windcover is a lantern belonging to Wyatt Earp and the tongs are forged from iron from the nails of the original cross, forged during a lunar eclipse and quenched in lion's blood.
The whole thing will be hand built by the reanimated corpse of Khalil Mamoon in a special workshop built atop the burial mound of Beowulf in Uppsala, Sweden.
The tobacco is a blend of sumatran, Cuban, Balinese, Indian, Syrain, and North African leaves and is grown and cured by virgins (And hand rubbed... On their naked thighs.) Once cured the tobacco blend is mixed with the finest spices, carob molasses, and dark barley honey.
The coals are made from Lignum Vitae wood.
Darth Coyote, Executor of EGOB and the Black Leaf Brotherhood.