Re: I am such a hookah failure.
After seeing your photos, I would recommend three things.
1. Smaller holes
2. Pack the shisha a little more
3. Less coal
Too much coal makes it harsh which causes the tickle. The same is true for not packing it enough. You don't want to pack it too hard but the photo looks like it isn't packed at all.
And as for your english, you seem to do as well as most of us over here in the US