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The Commandments of Hookah

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  #1  
Old October 29th, 2009, 01:24 AM
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Default The Commandments of Hookah

One of these days I'm going to write out the ten commandments of hookah and put them on a plaque in my smoking area.

1. Thou shalt show proper respect to the Narguile at all times.
2. Thou shalt smoke only when seated.
3. Thou shalt take great care not to tip the Narguile.
4. Thou shalt not lite thine cigarette with the coals.
5. Thou shalt not use the Narguile tray for thine cigarette butts.
6. Thou shalt take thine cigarettes elsewhere.
7. Puff, puff, pass. That is the rule.
8. Thou shalt not drool on thine hose.

So it's not ten, but it's a start... What've you got Hookahpro? Bring me your hookah commandments!
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  #2  
Old October 29th, 2009, 01:35 AM
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Default Re: The Commandments of Hookah

thou shalt not pull on the hose causing the hookah to tip
thou shalt not hoover the hose
thou shalt enjoy the flavor of the shisha
thou shalt respect the almighty nakhla
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  #3  
Old October 29th, 2009, 01:42 AM
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Default Re: The Commandments of Hookah

I dont agree with #8 every one smoking should have there own single hose nargile.
Thats just me though....I'm a hookah hog.I'll set my own up and if freinds want to smoke they can share one of my back up hookahs...Or fire all them up just as long as I don't have to share mine....HAHA
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  #4  
Old October 29th, 2009, 03:31 AM
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Default Re: The Commandments of Hookah

thou shalt not purge every single hit
thou shalt not play rap music
thou shalt not complain about the shisha without first paying thine host
thou shalt not "lip" thine hose
thou shalt not ask to add non shisha
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  #5  
Old October 29th, 2009, 04:42 AM
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Default Re: The Commandments of Hookah

Thou shalt not make fun of the ladies and their Starbuzz
Thou shalt not tease the host for loving the "cute wittle QT"
Thou shalt not leave the tongs on the leather couch to maketh holes in couch or guest buttockses
Thou shalt not tongue the hookah tip hole
Thou shalt not blow into the QT too hard, pissing off the host. It's not a KM.
Thou shalt not squeeze tongs and burst coal everywhere killing the buzz
Thou shalt not flip coals with plastic hose tip

Last edited by Straykat; October 29th, 2009 at 04:49 AM.
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  #6  
Old October 29th, 2009, 09:34 AM
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Default Re: The Commandments of Hookah

Quote:
Originally Posted by Straykat View Post
Thou shalt not make fun of the ladies and their Starbuzz
Thou shalt not tease the host for loving the "cute wittle QT"
Thou shalt not leave the tongs on the leather couch to maketh holes in couch or guest buttockses
Thou shalt not tongue the hookah tip hole
Thou shalt not blow into the QT too hard, pissing off the host. It's not a KM.
Thou shalt not squeeze tongs and burst coal everywhere killing the buzz
Thou shalt not flip coals with plastic hose tip
Lol I think some of these may have happend?
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  #7  
Old October 29th, 2009, 09:54 AM
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Default Re: The Commandments of Hookah

Quote:
Originally Posted by opticalshadow View Post
thou shalt not play rap music ever!
QFT and added a little something. LOL
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  #8  
Old October 29th, 2009, 10:05 AM
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Default Re: The Commandments of Hookah

Thou shalt not bring over Afzal or Soex and ask to smoketh it out of the KM.

Thou shalt not try to convince host that "it's not that bad".
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  #9  
Old October 29th, 2009, 10:31 AM
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Default Re: The Commandments of Hookah

Thou shalt not begin a conversation while holding thine hose whilst people are waiting to smoke it...

I'm not very good with old English.
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  #10  
Old October 29th, 2009, 10:34 AM
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Default Re: The Commandments of Hookah

Thou shalt not comment on how ones' face looks whilst blowing smoke rings.
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  #11  
Old October 29th, 2009, 11:29 AM
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Default Re: The Commandments of Hookah

Thou shall not blow violently hard into thy hookah and force water through the stem and into thy bowl and dowsing thy coals.

Thou shall not EVER touch ANY supply thy host brings over to the party without asking.

Thy owner of thy hookah with 2 or more hoses can never be called a hog or greedy for it is HIS hookah and if you don't like waiting for someone else to cough up a hose then don't smoke!

Thy guests to this generous owners hookah are NEVER allowed to complain because they have a hard time smoking tangiers!

Thy guests to this generous owners hookah are NEVER allowed to complain and try to upstage thy hookah owner and recommend he load his shitty tobacco in YOUR hookah!

THE CARDINAL RULE
DO NOT EVER STEAL SUPPLIES FROM THY OWNER!
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  #12  
Old October 29th, 2009, 12:11 PM
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Default Re: The Commandments of Hookah

Thou shalt pay proper respect thine hoohak an' cleaneth after or before usage
Thou shalt stayeth away from chinese imitation hookah
Thou shalt praise KM, Syrian, AF or Egyptian hookah, they knoweth the way
Thou shalt not smoketh in vain w/ bad pipe
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  #13  
Old October 29th, 2009, 01:20 PM
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Default Re: The Commandments of Hookah

thou shalt not question the host or his methods, thy resides in thine citidel.
thou shalt reside in peace within reaches of the hookah.
thou shalt walk around thy hoses, not over them.
if thoust did not pay a fee to smoke, then thoust opinion is null.
thoust not to smoke like a cancer stick.
enjoy thine hookah, its the only way to enlightenment.
thou shalt control their smoking, buzz is a gift from the hookah, to get sick is to disrespect.

p.s- dunkel your addition is greatly appreciated!!!
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  #14  
Old October 29th, 2009, 08:01 PM
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Default Re: The Commandments of Hookah

THou shalt shareth thy hookah knowlege to those willing to learn.

Thats all i got. I suck at old english, and cant really think of anything that hasnt been already said excpet the one i did. lol
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  #15  
Old November 1st, 2009, 07:33 PM
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Default Re: The Commandments of Hookah

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sui View Post
Thou shalt not comment on how ones' face looks whilst blowing smoke rings.
I loled.
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  #16  
Old November 1st, 2009, 07:52 PM
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Default Re: The Commandments of Hookah

Thou shall remember this is shisha and must not hold in inhale, for thy people might suggest thou is smoking something else..
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  #17  
Old November 1st, 2009, 08:10 PM
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Default Re: The Commandments of Hookah

If thou chooseth to knock over said coals, thou must find a way to the burn.
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  #18  
Old November 1st, 2009, 08:11 PM
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Default Re: The Commandments of Hookah

and for those of you who don't know, im not trying to be sarcastic or rude but this is not old english. old english is it's own language. like latin. it's also dead.
i will be satisfied with "older" english
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  #19  
Old November 1st, 2009, 09:14 PM
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Default Re: The Commandments of Hookah

I'm surprised nobody has added:
Thou shalt use thy thumb to plug the hose when thou art not using it on a multi-hose rig.
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  #20  
Old November 1st, 2009, 11:37 PM
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Default Re: The Commandments of Hookah

Quote:
Originally Posted by thefaded View Post
I loled.
+1 lol

Quote:
Originally Posted by AngeLsLuv View Post
Thou shall remember this is shisha and must not hold in inhale, for thy people might suggest thou is smoking something else..
Lol, agreed.

Quote:
Originally Posted by thefaded View Post
I'm surprised nobody has added:
Thou shalt use thy thumb to plug the hose when thou art not using it on a multi-hose rig.
Thou shalt make every effort to useth quality auto-sealing hose adapters so as not to put nasty fingers all over thine mouthpiece.

Thou shalt bring offerings of monetary value to support everyone's ongoing enjoyment of this financial black-hole of a hobby.
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  #21  
Old November 1st, 2009, 11:49 PM
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Default Re: The Commandments of Hookah

Quote:
Originally Posted by thefaded View Post
I'm surprised nobody has added:
Thou shalt use thy thumb to plug the hose when thou art not using it on a multi-hose rig.
yes! i hate when people do that!!!! aaaahhhhh!

if thou knockith the hookah over, thou shall drink the vase

no exceptions
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  #22  
Old November 2nd, 2009, 01:05 AM
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Default Re: The Commandments of Hookah

Thou shall not join the session just to take one pull and leave.
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  #23  
Old November 2nd, 2009, 03:35 PM
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Default Re: The Commandments of Hookah

Thou shall NEVER plug thy hose on a multi hose rig with thy tongue or prepare thym selves for a beating of thy lifetime!
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  #24  
Old November 2nd, 2009, 09:37 PM
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Default Re: The Commandments of Hookah

Thou must understand that the hose is not a microphone.

It drives me crazy when people are telling a story with the hose in thier hand.
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  #25  
Old November 2nd, 2009, 09:45 PM
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Default Re: The Commandments of Hookah

Thou shall not see a fox out the window and proceed to scare it away using loud screams and jerky movements with thine hose in hand.
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