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Pigs, Smoking and Pasole part 2

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  #1  
Old January 21st, 2010, 02:07 AM
Hajo Flettner
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Default Pigs, Smoking and Pasole part 2

After resting up from the hectic night/morning I slept for a few hours has the next batch of guests arrived greeted by my ever enthusiastic band mates. Much to my surprise the hippy chick and her pig had remained apparently waiting for a ride and a bit more music. As the rest of Ethereal Omega and Endorphin Express showed up along with our latest vocalist addition Gwendimyre things started to rock, the ale flowed freely and things seemed to back to normal for an all to brief an interlude.

As the band took a break to eat and drink I was in the water closet when I heard someone yelling about army showing up and the sounds of the my pals stampeding. Darting out I looked out my window and saw an armored land rover driving up the path. I heard some yell “damn Hajo, your’re getting shutdown by the army! That’s what I call a party!” After a bit of wondering why they’d send out an riot vehicle for a noise complaint I panicked a bit assuming that I was about to be extradited I froze with fear as the world turned sick. My worrisome flight of fancy was broken when my cop friends popped in the door wearing civilian closes leading me to sigh with relief. I walked up to shake and noted the Vepr shotguns they were carrying and panicked again. My police friend slapped me on my shoulder and said “Hajo, are you really so surprised that we are spending more time at the range like you said we should?” I smiled, and inquired why they were here and they told me that he convinced his comrades that they needed to be brought to date on “the crazy kind of pipes you smoke” so that they won’t get sued for false arrest and that they hoped I’d give them free food and ale.

This resulted in some friends of mine showing the cops what different kinds of moassel and narghiles look like and things soon settled down a bit when in walked the vet with a bottle an empty bottle of vodka saying he was here was check up on the pig. While he was looking the pig over the band started playing while the ale flowed freely yet again. After a while a now rip snorting drunk vet started yelling for us to play Blue Cheer and so I started to do my best Dickie Peterson imitation as the band started to kick out “Next Time Around”. Mean while at the other end of the room I couldn’t help but to notice that the flower child and my cop buddy had gotten way to drunk and way to frisky which made me laugh right in the middle of bit of guitar wanking. The vet starting shouting out the lyrics to “Out of Focus” while wildly gyrating and banging on a doumbek that was laying about looking as spit and ale flew from him in all directions.

As the bacchanalian excess reached a crescendo in the middle of “Fruit & Icebergs” a vacuum tube disaster struck. A stream of sparks, smoke and jet of flame shot up as did the pig. Our porcine pal made a mad dash crashing into a firkin of ale which sent a jet of M & B Mild blasting our drummer’s wife in the face knocking her over. As the havoc among my fellow bipeds spread the band stopped and ran about looking for fire extinguishers the pig went nuts knocking over revelers like bowling pins.

The hippy chick by this point was semi-dressed and fully freaking out hollering as her policeman paramour hung his head out the window and puked. The vet staggered about with a syringe attempting to stick the pig. Instead he tripped over a narghile hose and sent some coals flying into the back of the pig and is syringe into his own leg.

With a bit of luck we got the fire out and the irrepressible vet somehow refilled the syringe and plunged it into the pig before rolling down the steps and out the door passed out. The hippy girl by this point looked catatonic and my pal Javier (the same as in the Lovecraftian post) applied some burn ointment to the now partially sedated porker.

Calm returned to the house and my guests crashed as did I content that my thatched rood didn’t go up in flames and that a bowl of pasole remained unsoiled.
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  #2  
Old January 21st, 2010, 02:14 AM
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Default Re: Pigs, Smoking and Pasole part 2

lmfao! damn dude your parties sound chill as hell.. i was into your story.. great writing skills man
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  #3  
Old January 21st, 2010, 02:27 AM
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Default Re: Pigs, Smoking and Pasole part 2

I LOVE YOUR STORIES!!!!
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  #4  
Old January 21st, 2010, 02:36 AM
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Default Re: Pigs, Smoking and Pasole part 2

Alcohol, Tobacco and firearms.... what some people call a party, sadly has become a buch of fascist Jack Booted Thugs here in America
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  #5  
Old January 21st, 2010, 03:14 AM
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Default Re: Pigs, Smoking and Pasole part 2

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Originally Posted by Mordwyn View Post
Alcohol, Tobacco and firearms.... what some people call a party, sadly has become a buch of fascist Jack Booted Thugs here in America
dont forget about the pig
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  #6  
Old January 21st, 2010, 04:07 AM
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Default Re: Pigs, Smoking and Pasole part 2

Yep that sounds like Hajo to me Sex Hookah and Rock and Roll. Cops coping a feel on the Hippie Girl and the band members trying to roast a live Pig with Hookah Coals.

I better have a Chat with old Jacob here in Zuma land about Hajo and his porcine abuse.

Damn I thought Woodstock was rough in the old Days seems now we found the Catalyst of the old Woodstock.
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  #7  
Old January 21st, 2010, 04:34 AM
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Default Re: Pigs, Smoking and Pasole part 2

woodstock if only i were alive in those times
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  #8  
Old January 21st, 2010, 09:17 AM
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Default Re: Pigs, Smoking and Pasole part 2

Hajo, another quality post! Great read as always. I must find a way to get to one of your parties!
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  #9  
Old January 21st, 2010, 09:41 AM
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Default Re: Pigs, Smoking and Pasole part 2

I was laughing so hard imagining the vet trying to sedate the pig and ending up sticking himself!
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  #10  
Old January 21st, 2010, 03:40 PM
Hajo Flettner
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Wink Re: Pigs, Smoking and Pasole part 2

Quote:
Originally Posted by glostersa View Post
Yep that sounds like Hajo to me Sex Hookah and Rock and Roll. Cops coping a feel on the Hippie Girl and the band members trying to roast a live Pig with Hookah Coals.

I better have a Chat with old Jacob here in Zuma land about Hajo and his porcine abuse.

Damn I thought Woodstock was rough in the old Days seems now we found the Catalyst of the old Woodstock.
Pretty funny stuff Gloster! One thing that people find so odd about me is that a 60 year old rightwinger plays such crazy music and tours almost semi-regularly. Of course I don't get much money from it but it's pretty far out nonetheless.

Anyway, I am sure that good old Jacob will be more then happy to do anything to help me out!
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  #11  
Old January 21st, 2010, 03:43 PM
Hajo Flettner
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Default Re: Pigs, Smoking and Pasole part 2

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Originally Posted by BIGPOPPA View Post
I was laughing so hard imagining the vet trying to sedate the pig and ending up sticking himself!
That was pretty damn funny although watching him stumble around with a hang over earlier was also gut busting sight. I feel kinds sorry for him since he's so embarrassed but I suppose that running a muck and making a fool out of yourself is a good thing proving that you do so only rarely.
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  #12  
Old January 21st, 2010, 03:49 PM
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Default Re: Pigs, Smoking and Pasole part 2

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Originally Posted by Mordwyn View Post
Alcohol, Tobacco and firearms.... what some people call a party, sadly has become a buch of fascist Jack Booted Thugs here in America
Well it's true that good, semi-clean fun is getting harder to find everywhere these days and i'd bet that if I didn't live the middle of nowhere and if I wasn't such good terms with the police that I would likely find myself arrested for disturbing the peace being a public nuisance. But yeah, a real blow out needs good heavy rock, a lot of great food & ale, plenty of high quality tobacco and some sweet young things to help us geriatrics recall our misspent youth.
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  #13  
Old January 21st, 2010, 04:12 PM
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Default Re: Pigs, Smoking and Pasole part 2

Amazing story Hajo! You should become a writer. maybe even some sort of Hookahpro Blog that Sambooka could place on the site? Possibly bringing in more traffic!
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  #14  
Old January 22nd, 2010, 01:07 AM
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Default Re: Pigs, Smoking and Pasole part 2

Thanks for the compliment! I've heard about blogs but I don't really know what they are exactly and since I am an idiot when it comes to computers I wouldn't know how to start one. But yeah, more traffic would be a really plus here as things re pretty slow. Still, I think that my stories come off a lot better in person since I am more of a spoken word sorta person then a writer type.
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Old January 22nd, 2010, 01:23 AM
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Default Re: Pigs, Smoking and Pasole part 2

these posts make my day so much better.
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  #16  
Old January 22nd, 2010, 01:59 AM
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Default Re: Pigs, Smoking and Pasole part 2

dude i have to admit. that is 1 amazingly hecktic party. i have never been to a shindig like that in my life. REALLLLY hope i do tho!!! just AMAZING dude lol. as was said above aswell. u no how to get the audiences attention with your writing!

alos hope everything is ok now, every1 alive and the porker is ok lol
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Old January 22nd, 2010, 04:20 PM
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Default Re: Pigs, Smoking and Pasole part 2

Thanks for the input everyone. As far as I know plenty of my guests are embarrassed but no one was hurt save the poor porker and he is on the the mend. I'll post a few details when the chance pops up.
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  #18  
Old January 22nd, 2010, 06:09 PM
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Default Re: Pigs, Smoking and Pasole part 2

I loved it!! What a great talent you have.
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Old January 23rd, 2010, 02:35 PM
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Default Re: Pigs, Smoking and Pasole part 2

I thought since several people have PM'ed me about the status of the pig i'd bring them up to date rather then let anyone think I made light of the critter's suffering. According to some friends of mine the pig suffered some painful but not particularly serious burns and they are well on the way to healing up and apparently the pig is in good spirits while the hippy girl has chilled out and is apparently heading back to Berlin to do what ever German hippies do.

As best as I can determine the two parties at the homestead have the following combined statistics -

1) Number of critters burned via electrical sparks/charcoal: 1
2) Amount of ale consumed: 2 barrels (60 gallons)
3) Number of revelers: 70-90
4) Number of spouses injured by streams of ale released under pressure: 1
5) Number of policemen yelled at for drunken antics: 2
6) Number of policemen trampled by wayward pork: 3
7) Number of vacuum tube amps damaged by fire: 1
8) number of doumbeks turned to ash: 1
9) number of revelers who suffered hair lose from electrical fire: 2
10) Amount of moassel smoked: 5 kilos
11) Number of doses of animal tranquilizer administered: 2
12) Number of doses of animal tranquilizer administered to people: 1
13) Number of revelers injured climbing out of windows in a mistaken attempt to escape police: 2-4
14) Amount of pasole eaten: 18 kilos
15) Amount of pasole eaten by pigs: 6 kilos
16) Number of shoes lost: 10 pair
17) Number of trousers/skirts lost: 7
18) Number of people that failed to sound like Dickie Peterson: 1
19) Number of people that are too old to do this sort of silly crap but did it anyway: 7+
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  #20  
Old January 23rd, 2010, 02:43 PM
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Default Re: Pigs, Smoking and Pasole part 2

love the reference to Euripides and all things Greek lol
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